Being a senior, I have made my fair share of poor life decisions when I am downtown and enjoying a high level of inebriation. I have also witnessed a cornucopia (picture The Hunger Games) of sloppiness and situations that make you just want to say "Oh, honey" before you snap a quick picture so you can show all of your friends tomorrow. Now I know that when we have a little too much liquid courage we tend to lower (or give up on completely) our inhibitions. This may lead to the following: drunkenly making out with that guy that kind of looks like Gerard Butler; dancing so passionately that somehow your dress hikes up to your belly button; deciding to take off your stilettos and going barefoot in a bar because not enough tequila shots in the world can numb that excruciating pain.
Now I am not saying be Sober Sally to avoid any and all embarrassment downtown because unless you have the patience of this dog, being the only sober person surrounded by what seems like every drunk person in the world can be maddening enough to turn even Miss Honey into Ms. Trunchbull (if you don't understand that reference just go away). Sobriety is not the only answer. Moderation, loyal friends, and peripheral vision is the best solution.
So, have you and some cutie been shamelessly flirting at the bar and somehow find yourself leaning closer and closer until your lips are only inches apart? (sigh, what lovely rum-soaked romance) By all means, go for it (as long as you are both unattached, consenting adults), but don't be a spectacle. Because if you are, odds are you will end up on the UGA Makeouts Twitter. For all of you pre-med, pre-law, pre-need-to-find-a-job-someday folks out there, pictures of you in various states of debauchery on the internet is not good. If you really can't control the stirring in your loins long enough to get a cab home, find a dark corner and be as inconspicuous as possible. Straddling someone in Whiskey Bent while people dance around you to "Wagon Wheel" is not inconspicuous. People will take pictures. Hopefully, it will be your friends (like mine who love me enough not to do anything they would regret with certain pictures), but most of the time it's not.
Think as long as you are not playing tonsil hockey your drunken antics are uninteresting to everyone around you? Think again. If any part of your body that is typically covered by undergarments somehow escapes your prison of clothing without your drunk self realizing it prepare to find yourself on Tap That UGA Drunk Student. Once again, proof of debauchery online is bad. I know it is hard to keep all aspects of your being under control when you have had one too many kamikazes, but get it together Carol! (once again just go away if you don't get it) If you feel a breeze where there is normally no draft, check yourself for exposed parts. This is where loyal friends come in handy. Stuff happens, so make sure you have friends that will tell you when you have junk in your teeth and when your other junk is making an unwelcomed appearance.
Lastly, wear shoes you won't drunkenly take off. I have to include this because I personally have made the poor life decision to go barefoot in Bourbon. I woke up the next morning to feet that were covered in bar tar and blood. Have you seen the floors at Bourbon? Disgusting. If you haven't thought about the components of bar tar before, don't start now. The blood was from a broken beer bottle I stepped on, pieces of which were still lodged in my aching feet. If I hadn't been up-to-date on all of my shots you can bet I would have been visiting the health center. Making good decisions for your feet and overall well-being does not have much to do with avoiding ending up an internet sensation, but it falls under the category of being aware of your surroundings. I learned my lesson and have not worn heels downtown since except for the occasional semi-formal when my friends won't be seen with me if I wear boots.
To summarize, avoid the cornucopia of sloppiness, keep your friends close and your eyes open, and may the odds be ever in your favor.
Sidenote: The only person that can get away with inappropriate acts showing up on the internet is Jennifer Lawrence. (if you don't like Jennifer Lawrence then seriously, just leave) Here's some proof.
No comments:
Post a Comment